Seven the Stupid Psycho Boy
by turtlekorn
Summary: (OC STORY) Seven is a very angry, stupid boy. He talks to his dead dog and an old teddy bear. He's scared of sleeping. Killing never used to bring him trouble at all, but before he really knows what's going on, he's forced into the realm of demons doing what he does best. (Contains blood, really foul language, puke and some self-harm.)
1. o n e

**Yup, it's no joke: the stupid boy, the zombie dog and the disgusting bear are back. ENJOY~**

_Alternate Summary: Flopsy is the stupid dog. I shot him in the head. He was **Her** favorite. He's the one who tries to stop me._

_Jaundice is the stupid bear. **She** found him on a playground, filthy and reeking of spit and old diapers. He's the one who says "Keep going"._

_Seven is the stupid boy. I want to watch the world burn. I hate food. I vomit, but I hate the way the water splashes back at me. I'm the one who can't tell what's right and what's wrong. And what's so wrong about that?_

**Okay, ONWARD TO THE ACTUAL SHIT.**

* * *

Light slowly starts to leak into the room. How long have I been lying here? I was just thinking about killing dogs.

"Good morning, Seven."

Oh, look, here comes a dead dog now. "What's fucking good about this morning, Flopsy? I'd love to know."

Flopsy pads into the room and sits in the doorway. His cloudy eyes hold mine for a few seconds. "Why are you so difficult?" He finally sighs. He has a gaping hole in the middle of his head and his fur is matted. Chunks of his flesh are missing from his tail and legs. He's a German Shepherd.

"Why are you such a bitch?" I mutter as I head to the bathroom and slam the door behind me.

"Sev, she passed out again." Jaundice walks through the door.

"Can't you fucking knock or something?!" I zip up and flush. Brush my teeth until my gums bleed.

"Whatever. She passed out after I told her how you rape the girls you bring home."

"And she believed you?" I cringe at the word "rape". I'd _never_ do that. It's fucking disgusting. "Duh." Jaundice follows me past my room to the white door at the end of the hall.

She screams as soon as she hears the door knob turn. "GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"I don't think I will." I say as I walk down the steps and stand in front of her. She has straight shoulder-length brown hair, tan skin, and chapped lips. She looks like hell at the moment, but she looked pretty when she walked out of the library.

Until she bumped into me and told me to "fucking watch it, faggot". That's when her ugliness crawled to the surface.

"Please," she drops her voice down to a whisper, swallowing hard. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what? I haven't done anything." I can't help myself. I smile. Her eyes are a strange shade of green. I remember because they were the first thing I noticed about her. They're covered up now.

"Please, please just let me go," she's blubbering. Her sobs are obstructing her throat. "I can pay you!" She says suddenly, hysterically. "Whatever you want, I'll give it to you!" She's sweating, squirming in the simple wooden chair she's tied to.

"You sound fucking pathetic when you're desperate, Claire." I say quietly. Her noise is starting to piss me off, but I need to take this slow. She's only my second victim, after all.

Sobbing. Random words spill from her mouth, refusing to string themselves together into something coherent. My hands coil up. I stuff them in my pockets, one around the pocketknife I sharpened a few days ago. Sticktotheplansticktotheplan.

"Ya know, I've never noticed before, but she has a _really_ nice rack." Jaundice sits on my shoulder. Always the pervert.

"You're disgusting, bear." I mutter through my clenched teeth.

"Who're you talking to?" Claire asks in a small voice. She sounds like a scared little mouse.

"None of your business."

"Why are you doing this?"

That makes me freeze. Why? Because I hate my own kind. I have a need. I have satisfy it. I like doing this. I need to do this.

I feel anger boil inside my veins. My bones itch. I slide my pocketknife out and open it. She yelps when I slice the blade against the corner of her mouth. "Shhh," I wipe the blood off of the knife on her shorts, which are... really short.

She swallows hard.

"It's not nice to call people names, Claire." I speak a bit slowly because she's half sobbing, half pleading. I want to make sure she hears me. "Sticks and stones, Claire. Words can leave scars nobody can see. You'd know all about that, right?"

Her frantic breathing catches in her throat. "H-how do you k-know-"

"Your shorts are too short." There are lines upon lines of fading pink scars on her thighs. Probably on the rest of her, too.

_"P-Please... please just le-"_

My anger gets the best of me. The pocketknife is thrust into her chest. Onetwothreefourfivesixseven times. _I was seven when I first started to notice something strange. I used to think about suicide seven times a day, a week, a month. I still do, sometimes. My name is Seven._

.5.6.7.

Claire goes slack. Stops breathing. She bleeds onto my hand. Onto her clothes. Onto the concrete basement floor. The sticky red is warm. I start to smile.

Onetwo. On to the third one.

"I can't wait!" Jaundice bounces excitedly on my shoulder. He had been unusually quiet. I wonder why.

"I wanted you to savor the moment, Sev." He shrugs. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself."

No arguments there. I smile wider as I climb back up the stairs and shut the door behind me. The thrill is starting to make its way up my spine. Its slow this time, unlike the first.

"Seven, I don't like where this is going." Flopsy stands in the middle of the hallway.

"I can't find a fuck to give, Flop, so maybe you should shut up." I feel light, happy, calm. Is this what being high feels like?

I throw myself onto the beat-up couch and stare at the ceiling. "Who's gonna be number three, Sevy?" The bear lays on my stomach. I should throw him off of me. He might infect me.

"Whoever's unlucky enough to cross my path, I guess."


	2. t w o

**this chapter will seem like tooootal nonsense, BUT bear with me, yeah?**

* * *

I look at the clock in the living room; It's three in the morning. I haven't slept.

"You should go outside and stretch your legs, Sevy."

"You should get some sleep; you look horrendous."

That's funny coming from a dead dog. I sigh, roll off the couch, and stretch my arms. "I assume you'll be joining me, filth?"

The bear vanishes in a puff of dark smoke and reappears on my left shoulder. "You bet your bony ass I am!" He punches the air. I stare at him. "What?" He tilts his head to the side with an unmistakable smirk on his dirty face. I don't remember him ever being able to vanish like that. Or the smoke. He and Flopsy are always just... here. Maybe he's just being theatrical.

I shrug and head to the front door.

Flopsy rushes from the living room to block my way. He growls and bares his teeth. "Seven, you _really_ shouldn't go out there. Stop listening to that filthy bear; I only want what's best for you." His left eye pops out of its socket and hangs on the side of his muzzle.

"While I agree that Jaundice is indeed fucking filthy, I don't recall you ever being the boss of me, mutt." I stick my tongue out at him as I step through him and open the door.

"_Very_ mature, Sevy." Jaundice laughs and tugs at some of my black hair. "You should get a haircut; I can give you one, if ya want!"

"And why the fuck would I want that?" I run a hand through my hair. It's almost to my shoulders. Maybe I should... No, never mind.

"Actually, yes, always mind!" Jaundice pulls my ear. "You look like a fucking ballerina! But way uglier."

"Ballerina?" I look down at myself. I'm wearing dirty jeans (half a size too big) and a fading black t-shirt (two sizes too big). Ballerina my ass, I probably look more like a fucking hobo than some damn ballerina.

"You look retarded." Jaundice says, draped on top of my head. Get off, I might get infected by stupidity.

"Too late." I can hear the smirk on his ugly face. I _really_ should've burned him when I had the chance. He technically would've been my second victim; Flopsy was my first. I suppose I kill whom I don't particularly like. I'm saving myself for last; yes, the most disgusting for last.

One. Two. Where's number three? Lucky number three. I never liked that number. I frown. But seriously, how am I supposed to people watch without any people around?

"I'm glad your legs are all stretched out, Seven." The dog says when I walk back into the house. I roll my eyes. "I'm gonna go to the park later, Flops. People watch, ya know."

His face falls. "You must be joking." He bares his teeth again. "That bear is poisoning your mind, Seven."

I snort and throw myself onto the lumpy mattress in my room.

"_Please_, mutt, do we _really_ have to have this talk again?" Jaundice sits on the edge of the mattress and crosses his legs. "Some people draw well, others can fix things, some can dance. Sevy kills. That's his thing. It's the only thing he can do right, besides vomiting, I guess. What's so fucking hard to understand about that? Sev is doing _good_, he's cleansing the world. He's doing the world itself a favor. Get it?"

What?

The dog shakes his head. "No, bear, our boy is special. He needs to understand that this killing business is holding him back from seeing his true purpose. It's _my_ job to help him understand. _You're_ just in the way."

They glare at each other. What in the fucking hell are they talking about? My head hurts. Damn it. They start to say something else, but I close my eyes and for once, I wouldn't mind going to sleep. Maybe I'll dream about Number Three.

* * *

**the dog will explain some shit next chapter YAAAAY**


	3. t h r e e

**this chapter issss kinda weird.**

* * *

_Darkness_._ Why does it always fucking start with darkness? Panic starts to seep into my brain and settles heavily in my chest. I feel someone grab my arm. They tighten their grip slowly and the panic rises with the pressure. A hand starts to slowly materialize, then a wrist, then an elbow and a shoulder. I almost scream._

_It's **Her**._

_"M-Mommy?" Did _I_ say that?_

_"You've been a bad little boy, Seven." Her voice stern and oddly distorted. The rest of her body materializes. She's completely naked. She raises her free hand, tightening her grip on me with the other, and brings it over her chest. There's a squelching sound and her hand slowly sinks into her flesh._

_"Now you have to eat." A grotesque smile stretches across her face and literally splits her head in half. The skin is gone. Blood spurts onto me, burning me. I can't move. She pulls out a large mass from her chest, covered in blood and some strange black sludge. "Now. Eat my heart out!" she laughs, pircing my arm with her fingers. She clutches the mass in her hand and presses it against my mouth. I'm forced to look her in the eyes, the gray eyes I inherited. As I look, they turn pitch black. She screeches. Her mouth opens, cracks, and something starts to come out of her throat. A black snout. Then a muzzle. Cloudy eyes._

_"Time to wake up, Seven." It's Flopsy. He comes out slowly from **Her **and opens his own mouth wide, swallowing me whole. A shooting pain explodes in my skull as I plunge through more darkness. For a fleeting moment, I wonder if I'm going to die, here inside of a dog that may or may not be a fucking ghost, in my sleep. A white light appears and gets bigger until it burns my eyes._

I'm awake. And in the bathroom with my face in the toilet bowl.

"I love how you say good morning to the motherfucking _toilet _first, Sevy. I think you're developing a sexual attraction to porcelain shit-bowls."

I scramble to my feet and look at my pants. No bulge. Jaundice cackles.

"Y-you fucking asshole," I wipe the spit and bile from my mouth. Does he know what happe-

"Yes, he knows. We know everything that goes on in your mind, Seven." Flopsy is sitting in the doorway. I frown. What?

"Do you want the super awesome explanation, or the fucking boring explanation?" Jaundice sits beside the sink. I sit on the tile with my back against the side of the tub and wait.

"The _actual _explanation it is, then," Flopsy rolls his eyes. "Do you remember your dream, Seven?"

"No, actually, I don't 'cause it wasn't the most fucking terrifying shit I've ever been through in my whole entire fucking life or anything."

"We don't have time for your sarcasm, Seven. Now, have you noticed that your mother is always in your dreams?"

"Yeah." I frown. Don't remind me, asshole.

"Do you know why?"

"I have mommy issues?" I shrug. I'm not a psychologist or anything.

"That's true, yes, but the actual reason is because she is trying to kill you."

A few beats of silence. "But isn't she already dead?"

"She was never really alive. That is to say, she was never really human."

I raise my eyebrows. Not human? Then what the fuck does that make _me_? An alien? That'd be kinda cool...

"She's a demon, you dipshit!"

"So what, am I a demon, too?" That might explain a lot.

"Nope. You're just a human. But she's trying to turn you into a demon." Jaundice smirks.

"I don't get it."

"She presents herself in your dreams because she plans to corrupt you from the inside out. That's why I am here; I am the gaurdian of your soul."

"Is that why she was trying to feed me her heart?"

"'Yes."

"She wants to turn me into a demon by making me eat her heart."

"Well, that and she figures killing will help you turn faster."

"Wait..." I look at the bear, "you're always the one telling me to fucking kill. Wouldn't that make you her familiar or some shit?" He smirks again, wider, and shrugs. "I sort of play for both teams."

"I am solely on the side of keeping you human. The bear's objective wavers."

"It's just so fun to watch you kill, Sevy. You just look so happy! But I'm not exactly buddy-buddy with your mommy." Jaundice shrugs again, "she's kinda boring."

I look at them both for a few minutes and then start to giggle. "Y-you've gotta be s-shitting me."

"We shit you not, dumbass! Take this seriously!"

Flopsy growls at me. "Seven, whether you believe all this or not is your own problem, but I can assure you that we_ are_ telling you the truth."

I stop laughing and glare at them. "What the fuck ever. You two are full of shit. Where's the proof of all this, hmm? Show me proof and then I'll fucking believe you."

Jaundice poofs onto my shoulder. "With pleasure!"

* * *

**CLIFF HANGER. not a very ~good~ one, though. oops.**


	4. f o u r

**there's some ****_ ideologically sensitive _****stuff from here on out, meaning that if you have any religious views whatsoever, you miiiight get offended. or something. SO don't come to me all pissed off with your panties in a bunch because of where the story is going because i've warned you~ proceed now, if you wish.**

* * *

"Why are we..._ here_?" I can't hide the nervousness from my voice. My hands itch. The knife in the waistband of my jeans feels like it's burning my skin.

"'Cause I'm gonna show you your mom's true form, dumbass." Jaundice pulls my ear. "Maybe then you'll stop being a pussy and fucking believe me and the dog."

"Does she have a demon name?" I roll my eyes.

"Six."

"What?"

"Her demon name, stupid. Six."

"And I'm getting off of this fucking crazy ride right fucking here." I sit on the grass. It's almost 6 pm and we're in front of the largest church in town. It's empty, except for the few cars left in the parking lot.

"What the fuck are you so afraid of, Sev?" Jaundice spits.

"Nothing."

"Okay then, get your ass in there!"

"NO!"

"_WHY?_" The bear grabs the collar of my flannel shirt and presses his nose against mine.

"_Wouldn't you be scared of someone, or something, who supposedly knows every fucking thing that ever was and ever will be?! Wouldn't you be scared of an all-powerful being who created everything in fucking existence?!_"

Jaundice blinks and rolls around in the grass beside me in a fit of infuriating laughter.

"Y-you actually bel-believe in that shit?!" He presses a paw to his stomach. I glare at him. "Look," he gets uncharacteristically serious, "There's no such thing as 'God'. If there was, why would somebody like that let fuckers like you be born? Nobody's up there, Sev. You should be more fucking afraid of the big guy who lives downstairs." He smirks and pulls on my pant leg. I fill my lungs with air and follow him quickly.

The doors are large, oak, with brass knockers. I step inside and exhale. It's very spacious, dimly lit. The whole picture is complete with stained glass windows. A large wooden figure of that one guy on the cross hangs high, overlooking the whole room. There's someone standing with his back to us behind the podium. He turns around and smiles.

"Can I help you with anyth- _AUGH!_"

I pull the knife out and shove it hard into his side. "Yeah, you can fucking help," my breath comes fast as a strange giddiness rises up from somewhere, "tell your _Lord_ that I want to speak with him."

"God... God damn you, boy." The man drops to his knees, bleeding all over my front, and pulls out a white rosary. He crosses himself and takes a shuddering breath before falling on his face.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, Seven." The dog appears at my side in a puff of white smoke. He doesn't sound like he's scolding me, more like wary of something.

"Ready, Sev?" Jaundice sits on my shoulder, all smiles until he sees Flopsy. "Oh _great_." He rolls his eyes.

"You knew very well that I was going to come here, Jaundice." The dog says calmly, sitting on the dark red carpet.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Jaundice heaves a sigh, but perks up immediately. "Okay, Sev, you ready _nowwww?_"

"Sure." I look at the blood on my clothes and smirk.

"Just so ya know, she won't be able to see you, just me. I'll pretend that I'm coming back to report to her. Also," he shoots a narrow-eyed glare at Flopsy, "_no fucking funny business_."

"You have my word. For now, at least." Flopsy sniffs, "are you sure she won't be able to smell the blood on him?"

"I've got it covered, mutt." Jaundice says, offended.

"Yes, I'm so sure."

"Can we just get this shit over with? Sometime today, mayhaps?" I scratch my head, nervous and giddy and nauseous all at the same time.

"Okay, but you have to stay close to me, alright?"

"Ugh, fine." I step closer to the ugly bear. He draws an invisible circle around us on the carpet with his foot and uses a paw to make a complicated pattern in the air in front of him. He hisses something in a different language.

"So you brought me here to do some weird-ass ritual?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Funny thing is, you can only open up a portal to where we're going in a church. The only other way is to sacrifice a goat or a virgin, but we don't have time for all that shit." Jaundice spits just outside of the unseen circle and smiles up at me.

A huge hole opens up and swallows the three of us, spitting flames into the air. Screams and growls and the sounds of rattling chains and flapping wings fill my ears.

"Welcome to Hell, Sevy. You like?" Jaundice snickers beside me.

It looks like how the cartoons depict it: cave-like and filled with fire.

"This is actually just the entrance, Seven." Flopsy says as he rolls his dead eyes. "The creatures down here are into theatrics. Beyond that gateway is the actual Hell."

As he speaks, the gateway rises from the stone ground. A small sign hangs from the top that says "_Don't Forget To Wipe Your Nasty-Ass Shoes! ~D-Man_"

What the fuck? "Who's D-Man?" I ask aloud.

"Duh, the Devil, smartass." Jaundice takes me hand and leads me through the gate, Flopsy follows close behind.

* * *

**yup. **


	5. f i v e

"You've gotta be shitting me."

"No shitting here, Sevy! If you need to take a shit, you're shit out of luck!"

We've walked straight into some sort of sprawling city. The people walking the streets look like regular humans.

"Now, we're gonna have to go through... this one place, and I want you to try to keep your shit together, okay?"

"Sure."

"Good. Dog, that goes for you, too."

"Of course."

Jaundice nods, satisfied, and leads us down the street. We pass several stores, a dog park (where a few Yorkshire Terriers are ripping apart a carcass of some sort), and a coffee shop.

"What, does she work as a barista or some shit?" I roll my eyes.

"We're going in the place _next door_ to the café, asshole." Jaundice waves at a few demons inside the coffee shop and stops at the boarded-up building beside it. He raps on one of the wood planks on the door six times and walks straight through the door. Flopsy pushes me from behind and we both disappear through the door, too.

It's really dim in here, hazy, lit only with colored light bulbs. As my eyes adjust to the lack of light, I almost lose it.

We're in a whore house.

Jaundice leads us into another room where there are several noisy sex sessions going on. I swallow back the vomit that's creeping up my throat.

"Are we almost there?" I ask almost frantically.

"She's through that door," the bear points to a hot pink door at the end of the hallway, where the other five doors are all decorated differently.

"So what exactly are you planning to do? Fucking peek in there really quick, make up some fake story, make sure I get a good look at her and we'll be off?"

Jaundice poofs onto my shoulder. "I'm gonna go in there, tell her how you're doing peachy-keen and working on your Third, and then we'll leave."

"But what about the fucker I stabbed in the church?"

"He was just in the way, Sevy, of course he doesn't count." Jaundice snorts.

"Oh." I don't know whether I should be happy about that or not. Or what.

"Go on, bear." Flopsy sighs impatiently.

"Whoa, chill the fuck out, Flop." Jaundice vanishes and poofs in front of the hot pink door, waving at the dog and I. "Be vewy, vewy quiet." He says in an Elmer Fudd voice as we stand behind him. He spits on my grimy sneakers, putting a finger to his lips as I opened my mouth to protest. He goes through the door and pulls me close behind.

The room is completely dark except for one pink light shining on the woman who haunts my dreams. She looks just like she did in my last nightmare. Skinless. Bloody. She has several rows of pointed teeth, like a shark, and black eyes.

"Ah, Jaundy, you've come to report to me?" Her voice is oddly sultry. Acid burns in my throat.

"Everything's fine, Mother Six." Jaundice smiles up at her. She passes a thick forked tongue along her lips. Something thick and black, like tar, drips from her mouth.

"He still has two?"

"Yes, Mother Six. After the last encounter with you, he was pretty freaked out."

"I think I'll lend him a hand. A nudge in the right direction." She inspects her bright red claws. "I'll give him a bulimic girl to play with." She smiles and sighs heavily. "I just wish he'd come to me without a fight."

"I'm sure that by Number Five, Sev will have a change of heart, Mother Six."

"Let's hope so. Now, you best be going back to my boy before he gets into any trouble!" She smiles and waves at the bear before the light above her goes out.

"Yes, Mother Six." Jaundice goes back through the door and leads us out into the city again.

"Why do you call that cunt Mother Six, bear?" I stuff my hands deep in my pockets and spit a bit of bile out of my mouth.

"Everyone here does. She's the one who basically runs Hell; she's kind of the president in a way."

"You have elections in Hell?" Flopsy scoffs. "I had no idea you creatures were so diplomatic."

"We don't elect anyone, dipshit," Jaundice spits at the dog, "she earned the position. By killing. She wants Sevy to be the one to take her place."

"If she's the head bitch, what about the Devil?" I raise an eyebrow. "D-Man, I think?"

"D-Man is her Beta, so to speak. She's Alpha, he's Beta. But she doesn't want him to become Alpha. She'd rather you be the head hancho because D-Man is kind of... eccentric."

"The Devil is fucking eccentric? What's that supposed to mean?" I stop in my tracks as we get to the dog park.

"He likes to cross-dress."

"Oh, so the Devil is a fucking tranny?" I roll my eyes. "Where do you pull this bullshit from, filth? Your ass or your pussy?"

"Hey, just because I don't actually have a dick doesn't automatically mean I have a pussy, shitface. And I'm not bullshitting you, it's true!"

"I think we've had enough of your insanity for one day, Jaundice." Flopsy nudges my leg with his snout. "Let's go, Seven."

"I swear to fuck it's true! We can go see him if you want! He won't have a problem with hanging out with Seven for a bit. We could have lunch with him!"

"Too bad for Old Scratch 'cause I don't have much of an appetite." I roll my eyes. Jaundice crosses his arms over his chest and pouts. A black mist forms beside him and solidifies into a tall, bald demon with ram horns on his head and a pointy chin.

"Do refrain from calling me by that old name. You will address me by my proper, distinguished title- Senor Diablo." He looks down at me and smiles.

* * *

**i was gonna make my own little version of hell for this, but then i was like "but this is a fucking fanfiction goddamnit it" so i decided to whip out my director's cut of JTHM (one of my prized possessions because i'm stupid) and use mr. vasquez's version of hell. and the devil. except i made the devil a cross-dresser because it's kinda funny.**

**okay bye.**


	6. s i x

**this one is short, but Number Three will make a grand entrance next chapter. **

* * *

"Uh, okay_ Señor Diablo_, it's been... a pleasure, but I have to get going."

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to join me for lunch? I'm famished."

I look at the bear and dog. Jaundice gives me a thumbs-up and Flopsy just rolls his ugly eyes.

"I'll join you, but first, what's up with the whole 'D-Man' thing?"

Señor Diablo chuckles and puts a hand over his face. "Ah, yes, I almost forgot about that. Let's just say that I've been here for... a _very_ long while." He looks embarrassed.

"Whatever. What're we having for lunch?" I follow him across the street.

"Do you like pizza?"

"Uh... sure?" I shrug. As if I'm gonna eat anything anyway. Jaundice poofs on my shoulder and yanks on my ear. "_None of your bullshit, Sev, alright?_" He whispers angrily.

"Wonderful!" Señor Diablo claps twice and we're suddenly in a pizzeria. There's a fat, balding demon behind the counter.

"Oh, Señor, welcome!" The demon bows deeply. "The usual?"

"You know me_ so_ well, Vernon." Señor Diablo says with a smile, sitting at one of the bar stools. "Not that you have much of a choice!" He laughs loudly and Vernon guffaws like a burly idiot.

"Sit down, dear boy." Diablo pats the seat beside him. I look over at Vernon, who's busy making dough. "Don't worry, he can't see you. But I see you've brought the dog with you as well." He makes a face, but lets it go. Flopsy huffs loudly and sits on his haunches directly behind me. Jaundice sits on the bar between Diablo and I.

"I sense that you are a bit troubled, boy." Diablo laces his fingers together and stares at me.

I shrug. Why should I tell him anything? Shouldn't he already fucking know anyway? Mr. Beta Motherfucker.

"He's just having some mommy issues, Señor, nothing to worry about." Jaundice falsely assures. "He tends to get moody. You know how teenagers can be," he waves a paw dismissively in the air.

Diablo chuckles softly. "Ah, the mind of a murderous teenage boy. How I wish I could pick through it, but, alas, that seems to be more of Six's forte." He looks away almost dreamily.

Vernon lumbers over with Diablo's pizza, plain old pepperoni, and bows again. "Enjoy your meal, Señor!"

"Oh, thank you, Vernon, I certainly _will_! As always!" Diablo takes a greasy slice and laughs. As Vernon disappears into a back room, Diablo digs in with his eyes closed (who the fuck eats like that?). I stare a dried up marinara sauce stain on the bar's faux wooden surface until half of Diablo's pizza is gone.

"Am I safe in assuming that you have no intention of having at least half a slice?" He tilts his head to the side with a small frown.

"Sorry, Diablo, but you're gonna have to finish that disgusting bullshit by yourself," I make a face at the remaining slices of grease-sodden food, "besides, I don't know what demonic food'll to do my figure."

"_Figure?_ My dear boy, you're almost quite literally skin and bones! But I suppose I can't force you." He picks some pepperoni off of the slice in his hand and eats it slowly. "Actually, I very well _can_, but I'll leave you be. I don't imagine me force-feeding you would sit well with Mistress Six." He adds. I roll my eyes. _Mistress_ Six? I don't even want to know.

"You look quite tired, Seven. Perhaps we can talk another time. Would you like me to escort you out?"

"No worries, sir Diablo, I know the way out. Please enjoy the rest of your meal and please accept my apologies about the boy." Jaundice bows so low that his nose brushes against the bar. I snort and quickly leave the pizzeria without saying goodbye.

"You're lucky Señor Diablo likes you so fuckin' much, Sev." Jaundice grumbles on my shoulder. "I guess I can't blame you for your fucking horrendous manners."

"What the fuck ever, filth, just get me the fuck out of here." I grab him by the head, but he just disappears in that weird dark smoke and appears ahead of me.

"I can't stay mad at you, though. That's one of your strangely charming qualities."

"Whatever."


	7. s e v e n

The mall. A place where people shop and gossip and eat. A noisy place. A place where there are free samples of pretty much everything (especially food _don'ttouchthatradioactivebullshit_), where children throw coins into the fountain because they're too fucking naive to know that wishing is for lazy fucks (they'll figure that out when they catch the disease known as _Growing Up_), where women ask each other if that outfit makes them look fat (and the answer is always an obvious_ fuck yes_), where men practically swoon over the merchandise in the sports stores and brag about what teams they go for (they secretly envy the men on TV because_ they_ should be the ones advertising the newest athletic shoes), where teenage girls strut around and the boys all slobber on the generic carpet and hardwood under their bright shoes (they're all quick fucks, nothing more until the girls end up pregnant, which will upset the folks because they had such_ bright_ futures ahead of them).

I hate this place. But the bear told me I'd find Number Three here. Anticipation makes my nails dig into my forearms as the people pass by me. I'm sitting in the food court in the farthest table from all the little restaurants. I sip at a plastic cup full of ice and water in my hand. Jaundice rolled his eyes when I got it because he's an asshole.

"The least you could've done was get me a soda, Sevy." This comes out muffled because he's talking with a mouth full of burger and chili-cheese fries. I throw him a disgusted look before scanning the area again. Nobody jumps out. Jaundice had said I would know who Number Three is when I saw her (he assured me that Six would "give" me a bulimic girl).

"Can we just fucking go now, filth? We've been sitting here for almost an hour."

"Not until I finish eating!" He shoves the last forkful of fries into his mouth, licks the carton they came in and burps so loud that I can almost feel my bones rattle.

"Have I ever told you how much I fucking hate you?" I sip my ice water. The bear just smiles with his cheeks bulging. "I love you, too, Sevy~!" He makes kissy noises before hopping off the table.

"Let's walk around this teen-infested mall. Three is around here somewhere, Sev, maybe she's waiting for you!" He wiggles his eyebrows, but he doesn't have any. I just walk past him and drink my water, not really paying much attention to the people walking by. I can't see any of their faces because at this point, I'm bored. Bored, bored, bored out of my fucking mind. After ten minutes of aimless walking, I'm so bored that I start to see Six's face on everyone that passes by.

Oh wait.

"You're getting closer, sweetie!" She coos. I take a sip of water and she disappears.

"Mother is pretty excited." Jaundice says on my shoulder and then he sighs. "That _was_ a bit of overkill, though-"

Someone bumps into me from behind. "Ah! O-oh, I'm _so_ sorry!" I whirl around. It's a girl, quite short and skinny and flustered. She has long, wispy blond hair, wide green eyes and is pale as fuck. There's something... odd about her.

"I'm sure you are." I hope she catches the sarcasm. The urge to break every brittle bone in her small body flares up and tries to choke my senses, but I drink the last of my water and it cools down.

I turn and walk through the mall, into the sprawling parking lot. Jaundice appears beside me, trying to stifle his cackling.

"She's definitely following us, Sev."

So she's Number Three. _Of course._

/ / / / / / /

"Do it, Sevy, do iiiit!"

"_Shut up!_" I hiss angrily. "I'm working on it!"

"I-I can't feel my arms," The girl bound in the chair whimpers.

"You can shut the fuck up, too, cunt." I spit at her, tightening the bright blue ropes around her. "This isn't some sick bondage shit; I'm going to kill you." I say slowly.

She sighs, disappointed. "Mother Six mentioned your distaste in any sexual activities. I thought she was joking."

I glare right into her eyes, which are now completely black. She pouts and the girl in the chair is replaced by a red-skinned demon. I step over to the small table beside her and pick up a blowtorch. Pulling out my favorite kitchen knife, I light the blowtorch and heat up the blade.

"Why the animosity, honey?"

"Six is full of bullshit! Why did she send you?"

"Because I might've voiced a desire for you to fuck me senseless and that seemed to touch a nerve or two. Mother Six sent me as a human girl so you could kill me instead of doing it herself. Consider it as a gift. I_ am_ quite a catch." A smirk stretches on her face.

"I don't care how many fucking people I have to get rid of to do so, but I will kill her." I look around the basement, which is empty except for this whore, the bear and myself. But I know who else is listening.

I speak up because I know damn well she's listening. "Do you fucking hear me, Six?! I'm doing this shit_ my_ way!"

Jaundice wraps his arms around my leg. "Finally! Oh Sevy, I'm so proud of you! You've_ finally_ grown some balls!"

I tighten my grip on the knife and press the blade flat on her upper arm. She hisses, but I'm not sure if it's from pleasure or pain. Sick bitch.

"Where do demons go when they die?"

She laughs at that. "We go back to Hell, but to the Hell humans have always depicted; fire, brimstone, eternal suffering."

"How fitting." I slice across her cheek and watch black blood ooze from the wound. Gross. Her forked tongue flicks at the blood and she breathes out heavily._ Gross._ Anger boils to the surface from nowhere and I decide I won't drag this on any longer.

Without saying anything else, I drag the hot blade across her neck and watch the black blood spill. As a joke, I cut a cross deep into her chest. Her skin bubbles up and melts, leaving only ash on the wooden chair.

Oh, so that actually works.

"I thought you'd never figure that one out, Sev." Jaundice pats my head. "Good job!"

Flopsy trots into the basement, smiling widely. "I must agree with the bear, Seven. I'm immensely proud of you!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clean that up, filth."

"Sir, yes sir!" He hops off of my shoulder and salutes me.

"I'm going for a walk." I let the knife still in my hand clatter to the floor. Before I leave, I grab my pocketknife from my room. Maybe I can find another victim on my stroll. But I won't get my hopes up.

* * *

**even ****_i _****stared at my screen like "what the fuck" after typing this. **


	8. e i g h t

**surprise twist? mayhaps.**

* * *

_They'relookingatmethey'relookingatmethey'relooking atme._

The knife is like a weird assurance in my pocket. It calms my slight paranoia. I'm walking in the park and enjoying the cool evening air. Well, trying to. There's young couples walking around, hand in hand, some mouth to mouth. Gross.

"Methinks someone's _jealous~!"_

I almost laugh at the bear beside me, "Jealous of _these _people? Why would I want to waste my time with relationships? Nobody can stand me anyway."

"That's true. At least you're not in denial!" Jaundice nods approvingly. Asshole.

I hear the bear mutter "_Oh fuck_" and whirl around when I feel a hand on my shoulder in the same moment. I sigh.

It's Diablo.

"Seven, my dear boy! I hear you got rid of Avery, _excellent_ work! She was quite a nuisance."

"Speaking of fuckin' nuisances..." I brush his hand off of me.

"I need to have a word with you, boy. Privately." He looks at Jaundice, who flinches ever so slightly but vanishes anyway. Señor Diablo snaps his long bony fingers and the world quickly fades to black. A room materializes around us, dimly lit with several torches. Two fancy red and black chairs drop down from the raised ceiling.

Diablo grins and gestures to one of them, inviting me to sit down. In the dim light, I can't really see his red skin, so he looks like some weird black figure. He has amber irises, unlike the rest of the demons who all have completely black eyes.

I plop into the nearest one and he sits down across from me with his fingers laced together. "Now, Seven, what I'm about to discuss with you may sound completely outlandish, but you must swear that you will at _least_ listen to what I have to say. Do you swear?" He tilts his head to the side, waiting with his eyes glowing eerily.

"Sure, I fucking swear. A lot, actually."

Lucifer chuckles and wags a finger at me. "Oh, Seven, you joker! But this is no laughing matter." He drums his fingertips together and leans forward. "You are aware that Jaundice works for Six, but has no intentions of staying on one side or the other, correct?"

"Yeah?"

"And the dog has explained that he's the guardian of you soul, yes?"

"Uh-huh."

"The dog cares not about guarding your soul, but for stealing it. He does not work for anyone. He just wants the satisfaction of foiling Six's plan. He desires a pure soul, hence his failed attempts to try to stop your murderous instincts. But, when he found out about Six's plan to make you her heir, his desire for your soul grew. He wants you to trust him completely so that stealing your soul will be less work for him; he hates getting his paws dirty. He is not truly a dog, Seven. He is the most despised entity in both Hell and Heaven. He targeted your soul and played the role of the family dog."

I blink. "So what about when I killed him?"

"He is very into theatrics." Diablo leans back in his chair. "No one knows his true name, not even Six nor I."

"So... I should be listening to the bear instead of that mutt?"

Lucifer inclines his head. "What do you think? Do what you must, but do so as you see fit."

Fatherly advice. Is this seriously Mr. Ruler of all Hell? Oh wait. He's just the Beta.

"I need to go on to something else now. About Six."

"Uh, yeah, sure." I scratch my head. It's starting to ache.

"I require your assistance, Seven, with overthrowing that old hag. You see, being second-in-command is quite a chore with her ruling the Underworld. You know of the true Hell, yes?" I nod. "I am ruler of that realm, but I desire to be ruler of both. I am a true demon, the first demon, the rightful ruler. I would just need you to do one simple job."

"And what the fuck would that be, Old Scratch?" I sound bored. Good.

He frowns at that name. I smirk back at him and he lets that go. "Your job would be to eliminate Six."

"And how am I supposed to fuckin' accomplish that?"

"She needs to be your Sixth."

As if I didn't see that on coming. "How do I go about killing her?"

"You must challenge her, then find your own way of killing her. Jaundice will help you, I'm sure." Diablo smiles. "He's grown quite attached to you."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah yeah. Does he know about Flopsy?"

"I assume not. Six herself does not know."

"And am I supposed to tell the bear?"

"I will do that. You just focus on your job. I have the utmost confidence in your abilities." He smiles on last time, claps a hand on my shoulder and nods his head.

"Wait, but is the mutt gonna know all the shit you just told me?"

"He and Jaundice do not know all that goes on in your head, Seven. Nobody can know all, not even your own self. Store the information somewhere in the back of your murderous mind. Jaundice will know, but only because I will explain this all to him." The room disappears and we poof back into the park.

"Sevy! You had me worried!" Jaundice flings his arms around my leg.

"Jaundice, my friend, may I have a word?" Diablo outstretches a hand. Jaundice looks at me and then up at him and takes his hand. They vanish, leaving me alone on the gravelly bike trail. I start walking, lost in thought. So. Flopsy is a dirty fucking liar. And Six is fucking clueless. And I have to find a way to kill Six. But what about the dog? Or whatever the fuck he is.

How do you kill the current Alpha of Hell, Ms. Presidente of the Damned, The Almighty Cunt? I have to kill two more before I can even try to fucking think about that.

Let the race begin.

* * *

**i hope i haven't confused anyone. or made this all ****_way_**** too predictable. **


	9. n i n e

**yo, again. this chapter has some, uh, self-harm annnd... something else... you'll see. **

* * *

My head is jumbled. Why? I don't know. Is it possible to empty one's head? Literally, I hope so; that'd be something I'd like to try. On myself and others. Sounds fun as fuck, but I'm not in the mood for fun. I'm in the mood to _not feel._

And that's what I'm doing right now. With a box of cheap liquor at my side, my mind is jumbled but I can't hear what the thoughts are saying. I can't hear anything, I don't see the bear or dog. That's why I'm still drinking. I would've stopped a long time ago, after the first nauseating, burning sip, but I can't think right now or I might actually kill myself.

"Seven."

"What?" I slurr, frowning at how familiar that polite tone is. Diablo. Oh fucking joy.

"May I join you?" I squint at the figure looming above me. My room seems a lot more crowded with this guy in it. _Go away. Don't you have people to rule or some shit?_

"Please? I'd rather you not get drunk alone."

"C-_can_ demons get drunk?" I'm having trouble focusing on him as he sits across from me on the hardwood floor. He chuckles, taking the large (almost half empty) bottle out of my hands and takes a swig.

"Of course not. But it _is_ quite refreshing to have a drink once in a while, you know." He flashes his sharp teeth in a smile. I grab the bottle back and gulp some down. Exhale as the liquid burns down my throat into my empty stomach. Inhale as the haze settles in. Exhale when the thoughts that usually hurt or annoy float around aimlessly, silently in my mind.

Why haven't I tried this sooner?

"Tell me, boy, why have you picked up drinking?" Diablo tilts his head to one side.

"What, I can't e-enjoy a little _peace_ and _quiet_ o-once in a fuckin' while?" Another gulp. Another wave of thoughts quieted. I hear myself sigh, but I sound strange. "I-I'm just_ tired_ o-of dealing with shit, ya know? L-like the bear and that ugly dog. I need some_ meeeee_ time, Diablo. So. F-fuckin'. _Baaaaad._" Gulp. Gulp. Empty.

"I understand, Seven," he puts a hand on my shoulder; I'm too drunk to give a fuck, "everyone needs a break here and there. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, understand?"

"Mmmmhmmmm." I go for another sip, but the bottle's empty. I flop down on my back, lost in the haze. For once, the silence ringing on my ears doesn't freak me out. I barely feel myself smile. And as a plus, I'll actually "have a reason" to vomit in the morning.

"I apologize for this being such a brief visit, Seven, but I have some business to attend to. Try not to leave the house, alright? You are in no condition to be out and about, so just relax here and continue with your job in the morning. I will check on you later."

"Yeaaah, later, D-blo." I wave at him as he disappears, snickering loudly at the little unintentional joke.

Alone again. Damn, it tastes sweet. I lift the bottle up and throw it against the wall opposite me. The tinted glass glitters in the dim moonlight coming in from my window. It looks... _pretty_. I crawl to the shattered remains and pick up a piece of glass the size of my palm. The edges are sharp, inviting, enticing.

In the back of my mind, I know that it's stupid as fuck, but I _am_ a stupid fuck. A stupid _drunk_ fuck. So, with a smile pulling at my mouth, I push up the sleeves of my flannel past my elbows and drag the edge of the glass against the length of my forearm. No biting pain, just the amazing sight of blood pooling up in the incision. My skin looks so pale under the vivid red of my blood. Another cut, deeper, with the other edge. Blood runs down to the crook of my arm.

With a giggle that doesn't sound like it came from me, I quickly take my flannel off, along with the two shirts I have under that and grip the glass tight. A cut under each visible rib, one down my chest to my stomach. For a moment, I feel an urge to cut deep enough to rip the flesh off of my chest and rip my heart out because it's useless. It gives me life, but I don't fucking want it. I never did. Neither does anyone else.

But who gives a fuck? Nobody. Good.

As the blood flows to the waistband of my jeans, the glass gets slippery. I manage to cut wobbly lines down my stomach, my fatuglydisgusting stomach. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven._ Three on each side and one in the middle. I let the glass clink onto the floor and go to my cold bed. Nit bothering with any pillows or blankets, I lay and watch my blood run off the cuts on my arms and chest and stomach onto the mattress. For a minute, the way the blood is running out of the wounds makes me think of crying. My wounds are crying blood. Crying for what? At my stupidity? That would make sense. I feel myself shake with laughter. Why am I laughing? When am I going to regret doing this? In the morning, most likely.

With the liquor still covering most of my brain, I close my eyes, still laughing at myself, at the sweet silence around me, at the cuts, at the pretty glass on the floor, at my blood spreading around me, at the impending doom of sleep coming over me.

Maybe I should get drunk more often.

* * *

**surprised? why?**


	10. t e n

**ya know what's funny? i've never been drunk. or buzzed. sev's livin' the dream, man.**

* * *

_Darkness. The haze from the alcohol is gone and I'm hyper-aware of the pain from the cuts. I can't see them, but I feel each incision sting and throb, almost feel the blood leaking out of them. Am I dreaming or dying? Or dreaming that I'm dying?_

_"Hey..." the voice is so faint, I'm not completely sure I even fucking hear it._

_"Hey, get up..." louder, closer._

_"Sevy... oh Seeeevyyyy..."_ I open my eyes just a sliver. The bear is sitting beside me on the edge of the mattress. Oh fuck me, I need another bottle.

"Those're some nasty fuckin' cuts ya got there."

I don't move, trying to drown in the pain that suddenly got ten-thousand times worse._ Pain, pain, flood my brain 'cos this bullshit is fuckin' lame..._

"Sev?"

"Go get me a bottle of scotch. Green box," I mumble through my clenched teeth.

Jaundice tilts his head to the side with a wide smirk. "Oooohhh, so _that's_ why you didn't see me kicking you in the balls or anything, huh? Then again, that would imply that you _have_ testicles, which I'm not exactly sure about sometimes." He cackles, disappearing in a puff of that weird black smoke and appearing again with a dark green box in his paws.

"Fuck, Sevy, you should add 'raging alcoholic' to the list of bullshit you are. You do realize Señor Diablo'll make you stop eventually, right? He'd probably be here right now if he wasn't so busy with Six..."

He says something else, but the pain and the booze make his voice sound muffled. After a few long gulps of the burning liquid, he starts to fade away, literally, along with the pain.

Feeling a smile tug on the corners of my mouth, I sigh and drink until everything goes black again. Dreaming or dying, I still can't tell.

/ / / / / / /

"Seven, what's going on?"

The dog. I open my eyes, feeling fuzzy. My injuries are already healed and dull pink scars are all that are left on my skin. Jaundice is sitting on my leg, mouthing 'Diablo' and pointing to me. Damn it, Satan.

"I was drinking. Is the bottle on the floor not enough of a fuckin' clue, mutt?" I get up, groaning when my head starts to ache. In the bathroom, I dry heave until the nausea goes away.

"Why were you drinking?" Flopsy looks annoyed.

"'Cause I'm 18 and I can do whatever the fucking shit I please and blame hormones without a second thought." That's only partially right. I can't do whatever the fuck I please, but close enough.

"You're an idiot, Seven, what if something happened to you and I wasn't there to help?" The dog looks flat-out pissed now. I almost laugh. Oh yeah, he doesn't know that I know that he's a fucking lying piece of bullshit.

"Get over it." I brush my teeth, noticing that I'm still half-naked. Three layers of shirts later, I walk into the kitchen. Breakfast is a glass of cold water and a slightly bruised apple, just to get rid of the dizziness and the throbbing headache.

"Are you hungover, Sevy?" Jaundice snickers.

"Don't know. Maybe." I throw the apple core in the garbage disposal. It's 5:21 AM. Rain taps on the windows of the house; the noise makes my headache worse. Already bored, I sigh and go out into the backyard. Sitting on the yellowing grass, I let the rain slowly soak through my shirts.

"Seven, you'll get sick! Come inside." Flopsy calls from the house with a slight growl in his tone._ LiarliarliarliarliarLAIR don't talk to me don't pretend you give a fuck how about you go fuck yourself you fucking liar I hate you almost as much as I hate Jaundice and Six and myself combined go away._

"Fuck off, mutt."

"Where's all this animosity coming from, Seven?"

I frown. That's almost exactly what Avery said before I killed her. Coincidence? Bullshit. "Hey, dumbass, are you deaf? Sev said fuck off! Go eat your shit or lick your balls or somethin', whatever dogs do." Jaundice turns to me, "and I think we should start looking for the next one, Sevy. Before the dog does anything funny.

"Yeah, we probably should." Where should we start looking, though?

"I have the _perfect _place in mind, Sevy!" The bear has a mischievous smirk on his face that makes me just a _little bit _worried.


	11. e l e v e n

**long time no update, eh? my bad. i had to watch a few episodes of The Following to get even slightly inspired to update. thank you, James Purefoy. you make a very convincing psycho.**

**also, there's a bit of "God-bashing" in here. just, like, a sentence, though. **

* * *

"He looks uglier than _you,_ Sevy! I didn't know that was possible, fuck."

"Fourth. I've been looking for you for almost a week and where do I find you? Right at my door." I smirk at him. He gasps and tries to turn his head away, but he can't because his head is being held in place by a little contraption. It's connected to a wheelchair that I bolted the to concrete of my basement. His hands and legs are tied against the wheelchair itself. The contraption holds the head in place and these little metal wires with fish hooks on the ends hold the eyelids open.

Even Jaundice said it was a borderline genius little toy.

"I have to applaud your stupidity. Alan, is it?" He whimpers, which I take as a yes. "So when you see a house on the end of the street with grass that's almost three feet long and a sign by the doorbell that clearly reads 'fuck off', you just go ahead and ring the doorbell, huh? Fuck, you have no common sense, do you? That's good, though, because you made my job a lot fuckin' easier."

Alan is your typical "emo faget". He has the fringe in his eyes, dyed a neon pink that burns my eyes if I look at it too long, the obscure band tee that I can't read, bright purple skinny jeans that look like they'd cut the circulation to his legs. His look is completed with black Converse and red gauges in his earlobes so big that I could stick two fingers inside with room leftover if I really wanted to.

"P-p-p-please, guy, I-I didn-"

"You can stop right there, Alan. No matter what you say, no matter how _sorry_ you claim to be, no matter what bullshit you promise to do or not do if I let you go, I'm still going to kill you. So shut the fuck up and stop ruining the moment."

He starts crying, as they all do, begging "God" for forgiveness. I giggle at that. At his desperate pleas to some imaginary being he probably didn't believe in at all. He's only praying now because he's facing his own stupid mortality.

"So what're you gonna do, Sev? Cut his skull open and pour acid onto his brain?" Jaundice sits on my shoulder with his paws up to his mouth with excitement. I half expect for piss to run down his leg.

"Excellent suggestion, filth, but I have something else in mind." I walk to the small operating tray beside Alan. You'd think it'd be hard to find shit like this, right? But it's not. I take my newly-sharpened butcher knife and hold it at my side.

"Here's what I'm gonna do, Alan. I'm going cut off each odd numbered finger-" I press the very tip of the blade against his thumb, middle, and pinky fingers, "-and then I'm going to use this-" I pick up the blowtorch, "to cauterize the wounds. This is only so you can have the opportunity to feel what I feel when I look at you. Maybe you'll even feel the disgust, too." I crack my neck. "We'll start in a bit, I just have to shave your head so I can get to your eyes later."

"W-what? What?" Alan's blue eyes widen. "No! I-I did it m-myself!"

"Well that's too damn fuckin' bad, Alan, because I'm gonna shave that shit off your head anyway. So just relax and shut the fuck up, alright?"

I grab the battery-operated shaver from the table and click it on. Obviously, Alan doesn't know the meaning of "relax" or "shut the fuck up" because he bucked up against the wheelchair and screamed as clumps of his hair fell on his lap and the floor around him.

"Geez, what the fuck're you gonna do once I actually start chopping at your hands, Alan?" I don't bother cleaning the hair off of him.

"I think he looks better bald, huh Sevy?" Jaundice rubs his chin. "He looks more like a poser now." He cackles and poofs back beside me.

"Alright, Alan, stick your thumbs out."

He starts sniveling and breathing harder than necessary. His hands are laying open, flat against the metal arm of the wheelchair. Alan hesitantly curls his fingers in, leaving his thumbs half bent out.

I smirk and raise the butcher knife. He screams shrilly when the blade comes down. I quickly grab the blowtorch and burn the bleeding stumps. The flesh and blood sizzle at the flame's contact.

"Oooh, barbeque!" Jaundice laughs and pokes the severed digits on the floor.

Alan's screams and pleas start to get annoying once I get to his pinkies. "Shut up! Fuck, I'm done with your hands now anyway." I cauterize the last stump and step back. Bald and almost fingerless is a good look on him, actually. He takes a look at his mangled hands and vomits all over himself.

"Hmm. Well I can't say it was nice to know you, Alan. I'm gonna kill you now."

He cries out, blubbering about his mother or something. I sigh and lean over him with a scalpel. His screams ring in my ears as I press the blade in between his eyeball and socket.

There are seven muscles behind the eye. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Onetwothreefourfivesixseven. My name is Seven. I am standing over a bald teenager that screams like a girl.

/ / / / / / /

I lay in my bed, feeling the last of the shivering thrill leave me. Jaundice is humming beside me. Flopsy is glaring from the doorway.

"Seven, I don't understand why y-"

"And I don't understand why the fuck you don't understand, mutt." Jaundice sits up. "Have we not already had the 'natural-born killer' conversation?"

"He can change if he wants to, bear." Flopsy growls. "It's just that he's too busy being an idiot and listening to you."

"Do me a favor, Flop, and go outside and eat shit or something, hmm? I feel way too damn good right now to deal with your bullshit." I stretch.

"You'll regret this, Seven." He vanishes in a cloud of thick white smoke. I smile and get up.

"What should we do today, filth?"

"Can we go visit Diablo?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Why?"

Jaundice shrugs. "He told me he wanted you to go see him."

Oh fuck.

* * *

**yeah, the cut was pretty short. oops. the next chapter might have a cross-dressing Satan, but i'm not too sure yet. **


	12. t w e l v e

**i've been in a shitty mood, to say the least, but i felt bad about neglecting this story and plowed through. i've gotta say, though, that this chapter doesn't suck too hard. **

* * *

Jaundice poofs us into a huge room that I assume is Diablo's because of all the self-portraits and dead goat heads mounted on the wall along the tall fireplace.

"Ah, Jaundice and Seven, what a pleasant surprise!" Satan glides over from the shadows with his arms out and gestures at the room. "I just finished refurbishing it. What do you think?"

I look around. "It's, uh, great. Matches your style."

"Señor Diablo, sir, you said you needed to see Seven." Jaundice reminds the Beta of all Hell.

"Oh, yes, thank you dear Jaundice. Let me slip into something more comfortable." He disappears in a thick cloud of black smoke and reappears in a small black dress with shiny silver earrings.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

"Alright, now time for business." He snaps his fingers and a long wooden table appears. We're sitting at the ends of the table; he's got his back to the fire and I have mine to the largest of his self-portraits.

"You look lovely, Señor." Jaundice says, sitting on the table in front of me.

"Thank you! I have had this little number for a while now." Diablo rubs his chin. "I hear you have gotten the Fouth, Seven?"

"You hear correctly."

"Very good! Only three left. Which brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about." He leans forward. "Flopsy must be your Fifth."

I blink. "But didn't I... already kill him?"

Jaundice gasps and bounces a little. "Oooh, you mean kill his true self?"

"Exactly, Jaundice." Diablo nods and bares his teeth in a smile. "To eradicate the dog, you must find his true self. That is to say, you must find the demon who bears his true name."

"And how do I do that?"

"You find out his name and say it aloud. He will appear before you in his true form, which would be the moment when you kill him."

"Wow, you demons are really motherfucking weird, huh?" I yawn. "And then?"

"Then you go after Six, of course. Though I am surprised that she has not tried anything recently. She has been busy being serviced at the moment, I expect."

I try to swallow whatever's trying to come up my throat, but I end up spewing all over the table anyway. Diablo clears his throat a bit and Jaundice shakes my vomit off of himself. "Geez, Sev, you could've given me a fuckin' warning. Sicko."

I smirk at him and spit the last of it in his face. "Anyway, Satan, is that all?"

Diablo picks at his teeth. "Hmm... I believe that was all I needed to say. Do stay in touch, though, Seven, will you? I have a little get-together I'm throwing sometime soon and I'd like you to be there."

"Gee, that sounds super motherfucking _swell_; I'm gonna have to check my day planner to see if I can drop by." I wipe my mouth and stand. "Gotta go now, but thanks for having me."

"The pleasure is certainly all mine, Seven. I do hope to see you soon."

Jaundice, still soaked with vomit, glowers at me when he poofs us both back into my room. "Really, Sevy, did you have to do that shit in front of_ Señor_? Always the attention whore."

"It's only a little puke, Jaundice, calm the fuck down. You're full of shit anyway." I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth.

"Are you going to Diablo's little party, Seven?" Flopsy follows me into the basement. I have to clean up and dispose of Alan's body, which isn't usually too much of a hassle.

"Fuck off." I start to sweep up the hair from the floor.

"He's going to have you killed, you know." The dog sits on his haunches with something of a smug look on his gross face. I roll my eyes.

"Good, I hope he does it soon."

Flopsy coughs a few barking laughs. "Oh, but he_ will_, Seven. Sooner than you think."

"Whatever, I may as well do that shit myself and save D-Blo the time." I drag the body up the stairs and out into the backyard.

His voice changes, taking on a deeper, more growly tone. "But that's his plan, you stupid fuck."

I roll the body with my foot into the ten-foot deep hole I dug a long while ago. "You sound delusional, Flop, how about you go fuck yourself with a hot curling iron?"

"Say what you want, Seven, but just ask that filthy bear you've grown so attached to. He knows about it, too. And I know about what Diablo told you today. I'm not stupid, unlike _you_." He trots up to me and his cloudy eyes flash. "I'll tell you my name and let you kill me, boy, but you have to do something first before I utter a single vowel."

I snicker at the ugly creature in front of me. "Bullshit. I don't give a fuck anymore, I said I was gonna do this shit _my_ way and that's that, asswipe."

"_Your_ way will doom you to more than what's necessary, Seven."

I roll my eyes, which are starting to hurt. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He bares his teeth. "It means you should stop being this _higher-than-thou_ little shit and say you'll do what I tell you."

"Again, mutt, go fuck yourself with a hot curling iron, I'm done here." I step around him and head towards the house. Something changes in the air, making it heavier somehow, and I hear snarling. Before I can fully turn around, Flopsy launches himself at me and sinks his teeth into my neck.


	13. t h i r t e e n

**to save you all the trouble, genophobia is the physical or psychological fear of sexual relations or sexual intercourse.**

* * *

It smells like burning flesh and dried blood. A scent I know very well. But there's something else reeking in the hot, dusty air. As bile starts to creep up my esophagus, Flopsy chuckles behind me. "It is indeed what you think it is, Seven." He tilts his head to the side. "Haven't you ever had sex before?"

"Of course I haven't!" I feel my skin crawl.

"You're eighteen years old and you've_ never_ fucked? You're a dying breed, boy." He barks a few laughs and walks around the room. It's an old room, dusty and filthy. The only window in here is on the farthest wall, broken and blood smeared. There's five naked bodies strewn on the creaky floor. I end up dispelling an apple I don't remember eating on a body that is clearly a woman. They say to never speak ill of the dead, but nobody has ever fucking said to never be ill on the dead.

"Are you wondering where we are yet, or are you too busy working through your genophobia?" He sounds bored. I notice that there's a sticky substance dripping from his mouth.

"Why're you drooling so much?" A pool of the dark liquid is starting to accumulate on the floor under his muzzle.

"Excitement, I guess."

"For what?"

"Well, for what you're gonna have to do for me, of course! I think I'll play with your fears for a bit." He bares his teeth in a smirk so nasty and wicked that I feel my heart skip a few beats.

"If you can manage to keep your cool throughout my little test, I'll tell you my name and take us back home so you can have the total honor of killing me. Sound fair,_ Little Miss Vomit_?"

"Fine." I gnash my teeth together against the chill that runs up my spine into every crevice of my brain. I feel myself trembling, sweating. Flopsy's smirk widens. "What's wrong, Seven? Ya _scaaared_, hmm?"

"Start your damn test already!" I snarl. He raises his head up a bit, black liquid dripping from between his teeth. He bites me yet again, lightning quick, and I fall right through the floor into another room, though this one is almost pitch black. Almost immediately, the bodies from the first room crawl out of the darkness with their bodies twisted unnaturally.

"To pass this part of my test, you have to allow all five of these lovely people touch you and keep the contact for five seconds. Sound like a plan?"

I feel myself tremble even more, the shivers wrack my body as if I'm standing in sub-zero temperatures. FuckfuckFUCK. I step back, breathing faster as the bodies crawl closer. The closest one, a man with long hair, stretches out a hand with several missing fingers and grabs the hem of my shirt. He lifts it up off over my head. I feel another hand get closer to the exposed skin of my stomach.

"Remember, Sev, five whole seconds. I'll be counting~!" Flopsy peers down the hole I fell through and some of that shit he's been drooling splats onto my bare chest. It burns my skin. "That's a nice set of ribs you've got there, by the way. You somehow look worse than those people down there with you."

I feel one of the dead things rake its nails on my stomach. "NO, STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!" The contact burns like the black liquid, if not more. I start to go into full-on panic mode. Scrambling to my feet, I kick through the dead bodies as they try to grope at me.

"You're not playing very fucking fair, Seven. We had a deal." Flopsy materializes in front of me, teeth bared, eyes flashing. The bodies stop moving behind me.

"Fuck playing fair!" I take a quick step forward and wrap my hands around the dog's throat. The black shit oozing from his mouth coats my hands and wrists, I clench my teeth against the pain and slowly put my weight on my grasp. "How many fucking times do I have to say that I'm gonna do this_ my way_?" I glare down at the dog, or whatever the fuck he is, and he smirks back at me.

"And how many time do_ I_ have to tell _you_ that your way will get you _killed faster_?"

I spit in his eye and swiftly twist his neck back. His body instantly goes limp and I throw him at the bodies behind me.

"Sevy!"

I look up and see Jaundice standing over the hole. "Your timing is fucked, filth! Why the fu-"

"WATCH OUT!"

As soon as he says that, the room rumbles with the sound of deep growling. The dog's body melts into that burning black liquid and it rises up, slowly taking form.


	14. f o u r t e e n

"Sev, get your ass up here!" A tall metal ladder poofs into his paws and stretches down a few feet away from me. I glare up at him as I climb the steps.

"What're you doing here, filth?"

"I'm saving your ass from having your soul sucked outta your huge piehole, ya damn cuntburger!"

I stand up and Jaundice grabs my hand, poofing us into my own room. "Yeah? Well it took you long enough, fuckface!" I stomp out into the living room.

"Oh, so now you wanna fuck my face? You're sick, Sevy, _that's_ how you show gratitude?" He cackles in my ear.

At this point, I'm beyond pissed off. I go into the kitchen and yank open the knife drawer, taking the butcher knife I bleached right after I killed Alan and press the blade against my arm. "Look, either you tell me _every_ _single fucking thing_ you know about what the _fuck's going on_ or I fucking end it _right here and now!"_

"That's a lot of fucks," the bear mutters, sitting on the counter beside me. "Alright, I'll tell you, but it's not any new info."

"I don't give a shit, just tell me."

"Well, long story short: Señor is planning to get you to kill Flopsy and Six for him 'cause he doesn't wanna do the dirty work himself and then he plans on killing you last 'cause he's the fucking _Devil_ for fuck's sake, why would he just let you walk?" He mutters something under his breath and spits on the floor.

I frown, loosening my grip on the knife's handle. Hmm... foiling Diablo's plans _would_ be damn fun, but how am I supposed to do that?

He scratches his head, apparently conflicted. "I really like you, Sevy, and I really hate that dog, so I'll help you with this, but you're gonna be on your own after that."

"Will D-Blo know you told me all this?"

Jaundice smirks. "Nope, I just put a temporary spell around this place to prevent him from showing his _fabulous_ goatee around here!"

"So what're we supposed to do?" I put the knife back and cross my arms over my chest. I notice with a jolt that I'm still half-naked.

"Well, we have to make a few preparations first, then we can go back to the mutt and finish him." The bear snickers, "but first, go make yourself decent!"

/ / / / / / /

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Do you _really_ think I'd joke at a time like this, Sev?"

"You _do_ have a fucked sense of humor." I mutter and raise an eyebrow at the headless chicken at his feet.

"But this isn't a joke! How many times do I have to explain it?" Jaundice sighs and wipes the blood from his paws onto his stubby legs. "I'm gonna use this blood to write some shit on your weapons so your speed and strength will be boosted, but you have to keep physical contact with them."

"And why do I need my speed and strength boosted?" I watch as he dabs more blood onto his paws.

"Because you're not gonna be going up against any normal demon. He's an abnormal, duh. Who knows what kind of shit he'll try to pull."

"Of course."

He hands me the last knife and I put it in the tool belt around my waist. "Oh, I almost forgot!" The bear rushes up to me and lifts my shirt up above my stomach. "w-what the fuck're you-"

"In case he tries to possess you!" Jaundice hisses impatiently, smearing the last of the blood onto my skin. "But if any of it rubs off by even a _tiny _bit, you're screwed."

"Alright." I swallow. What the fuck have I gotten myself into? Possession? Nobody warned me about that. _Fuck_.

"I'm gonna lead you back into his lair, but once we're there, I can only bear witness to whatever happens." Jaundice giggles and it hits me that he was trying to make a joke.

"_**NOW** YOU START JOKING?!"_ I snarl, grabbing him by the throat. He bursts out laughing and wipes a tear from his eye. "Ah, sorry, I don't do well in serious situations." Jaundice takes a deep breath and sighs. We're back in the room from before. My heart starts to pound and something hot starts pouring into my veins. Giddy and trembling, I look over the hole in the floor and jump down without a second thought.


	15. f i f t e e n

**well, people, i'm sorry to say that this is the last chapter. (what, did you think there would be more? you're craaaaazy.) it's not super long (wy would it be?) and you might be mad at me for it (whatever, right?) buuut here it is. some slight ~sexual~ content. if it can even be called that.**

* * *

My feet hit ground and a slight thump echoes in the darkness. I can't see above, below or around me. A split second after I realize this, something moves. A loud roaring fills the space and red eyes glow some ways in from of me. Before I can react, a huge mass rushes past me with another roar.

"Welcome back, fucker."

"It's a fuckin' pleasure." I hear myself say.

Large pillars of red fire burst to life, the light sears my eyes. I blink quickly and look up into red orbs.

"I'm more comfortable in my original body. You understand, no?" A few low chuckles fill the suddenly heated air. His voice is much deeper in this form. I take two daggers out of my belt and grip them tightly. "Skip the bullshit, asshole."

"If you say so!" I barely catch a full glimpse of his actual body when he strikes with his mouth open like a snake. Just as he passes by, I run up and stab what looks like his neck and our momentum causes the blade to glide straight through flesh. The smell of burning rubber and rot fills my nose and Flopsy (or whatever) roars.

"I see you got help from filth." He pants and circles me. His body is a mixture between a snake and some goat-like... thing. The body is serpentine, but he has large horns and huge hoofed limbs. His eyes are slits of bright red but his face itself has no real shape and his mouth is just hundreds of jagged fangs.

"And if I did?" I grip the other dagger harder, tensing up to take a stab at his head.

"That's cheating!" He comes at me with his mouth agape again and I jump up. Mid-air, he swipes a hoof at me and I fly back into the darkness, landing hard on my shoulder. I wait for the pain, but it never flares up.

Another roar and all I see is those eyes. Even with my boosted speed, he manages to sink his teeth around my arm.

"Get off!" I stab his eye and fall to the ground again. As he rears back howling with pain, I run up to him, taking out a 14-inch knife and ripping it through what I assume is his stomach. Immediately, I'm doused with that strange black substance he was drooling earlier.

"So that's what's going on..." His eyes lower and I feel something wipe up my stomach.

He just licked me.

My head is filled with a weird pain, like how your mouth burns when you eat spicy food.

_Ya know, I thought it'd be more rewarding to possess your body, but this is pretty boring._

"Then get out."

_I think I'll make my own fun, though._

My left hand suddenly feels detached. I stare in horror as it lands on my crotch.

"You wouldn't fucking dare." My mind starts to race. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfu-

_Oh, you wear boxers? That's kinda funny, Seven._

I can't breathe. He makes my hand slip through my clothes. _Live a little, will ya? Everyone has to rub one out once in a while._ His laughter fills my head as he moves my hand slowly against myself.

"_STOP IT!_" Without hesitation, I take the knife in my right hand and bring it down into the forearm of my possessed arm.

_Fuck!_

A whooshing sound fills my ears and all the air in my body leaves. Flopsy stands in front of me again, lighting more red-flamed pillars and spewing that black shit. "You're no fun."

Blood soaks my pants. Disgusted, I slice my hand off from the wrist.

"Oh, it just got interesting again!"

I fling all the knives on my belt at him, screaming incoherently. Now I'm starting to understand how my victims feel.

"Yesss, Seven, now you know what empathy is!" His eyes sear into mine and my body goes numb. "Before I go any further, I have a few things to tell you."

He waits for an answer, but all I can do is stare wide-eyed at him. He laughs and lowers his body. "For starters, my name is Asmodeus, Mephistopheles, Satan, Lucifer, The Dark One or Diablo." He smirks, which looks strange, and dissolves into a giant familiar form.

It really is Señor Diablo.

"Yes, Seven, or as you tend to call me: Old Scratch? Where did you get _that_ from, I wonder?" He snaps his fingers and the feeling comes back to my body.

"You... why? How?"

"Is _that_ all you can ask?" Diablo chuckles. "Yes, boy,_ me_. I'm the fucking_ Devil_ for fuck's sake! You want to hear a secret, though?"

I throw my last weapon, my pocketknife, at his head, but he catches it between his fingers.

"Those glyphs that Jaundice drew on your weapons were fake. You only got a bit faster and stronger because you believed they would help. Jaundice didn't know, of course; that useless fuck actually _was _on your side, but I got rid of him." He smirks again and drops something at my feet.

It's the bear. The stuffing is sticking out of his head and his eyes are missing. I step on him, feeling strangely hallow.

"And you want to know something else? Six isn't real."

I stare at him. "What do you fuckin' mean?!"

"What I mean to say, you stupid fuck, is that Six was me. _I am Six._"

"Why?" I feel myself tremble.

"Because I was bored." Diablo picks at his teeth. "You fell for it all. It was pretty funny. But now I'm going to kill you and the fun will be over." He sighs loudly. "It must be done, however."

"So... so everything... was a lie?"

"Basically."

"Just because you were bored?"

"Indeed."

I feel my eyes prickle and I realize that the warm shit running down my face is water. From my eyes. I'm crying.

"Aww, Sevy, don't cry! It's not your fault that I'm the Great Deceiver!" Diablo laughs loudly. I fall to the floor. I feel empty but then I somehow manage to feel everything. Pain, sadness, betrayal, violated, useless.

"I always wondered if there's something wrong with me... Am I any better than you?" I can't not ask him.

"Of course you're not. You're worse. You always were. You're just a mortal, but even the demons in Hell have a sense of humor." He giggles at that. I start to breathe heavily.

"Now, now, boy, get your shit together and stand tall so I can kill you."

"No." I whisper.

"What?"

"_No_." Louder.

"...what?"

**_"NO!"_** I scramble to my feet and rush at him, jumping up for what feels like the hundredth time and pulling a knife from his stomach. Before he can do anything, I start to fall. Pointing the knife to my throat, I slash the skin and hit the floor.

"You _STUPID FUCKING CUNT!_" I feel him grab the collar of my ruined shirt and lift me up to his face. Blood pours onto his hand and I smile weakly at him.

"See you at home, _shithead._" Taking the knife in my hand again, I drive it into my stomach and twist it around. Pain explodes through me and the last thing I ever see is Diablo's rage-filled amber eyes before the world goes black forever.

What a great sight.

* * *

**the world's shittiest ending! YEAAAAH. **

**hinthint, though: there might (MIIIIIGHT!) be a sequel. MAYBE. but for now, this is where Seven ends. in darkness. you're welcome!**


End file.
